If we’re defining NT as not just “not autistic” but no ND at all, I think we can be pretty confident in that. The test is about problems you have. Personally when I take tests on being a sociopath, narcissistic, or bipolar, I have never once scored anywhere close to the threshold, because I just don’t have those problems.

I will say that, the thing about not understanding social cues is that you don’t always understand when you don’t understand them. We can severely underestimate our deficits compared to normal people, because we don’t have a great grasp on how other peoples’ brains are. Even now I still find deficits I wasn’t aware of. I didn’t think I had an issue with being literal until I met my boyfriend. He really likes word play jokes, and I miss them A LOT. I need to have them said a few times before I get them. It’s not that it’s impossible for me to understand. I’m realizing I’m just a lot slower than normal and need to think about it.

So I don’t think the issue with RAADS-R would be overestimation, it’d be underestimation.

I miss when all I had going on in my life was chewing a pencil.

Then they won’t call you autistic, they’ll call you rude for not saying anything.

I like neurodivergent because it centers the issue that peoples’ brains function differently. It’s not a choice. It’s not stupidity. I’m not just weird for no reason. My brain cells send signals differently from other peoples’. The issue is that regular people don’t understand regardless of which word you use.

mostly it’s just annoying others by insisting on the rules. other people seem to just bend the rules whenever they feel like it, and that can be a problem for me to accept.

I do generally notice that, though I don’t necessarily agree that trying to treat others well is masking versus just choosing polite conversation.

yesterday was my do something day. took a long walk around some trails with new date. it was fun. then I made a late night trip to whole foods and as usual spent about 5x more than I intended.

Asked to reschedule meeting to zoom, no response, went in person, it’s raining, bus was late, could not find them, had to reschedule, now I’m damp.

That’s tough. You could roll a dice.

your breads are so beautiful.

finally had that 2nd date after cancelling over getting sick. it got real fun real fast. now, back to the school grind.

it was a “surprise reschedule” 3 class day when I scheduled an interview this morning because it’s supposed to be slow. 1.5 hours left and I just want to go home. such a long morning.

On one hand, I don’t feel terrible today! Yay! On the other hand, I have a ton of work to do! boo.

today’s interview didn’t go well. now I’m all dysregulated, and I have a writing excerpt I haven’t started due at 5, and I’m too wired to do it.

Feeling better-ish. Feels like something is stuck in my throat today. Interview yesterday was intense. which is weird. I don’t think they will pick me. I found out about an animal law conference in fall and now I’m reading a bunch of animal law papers.

Typically, when you start working, you’re going to be given the jobs that (a) are easy to train and (b) nobody wants to do. That means you’re going to have to show up in person. If there are any restaurants in walking distance, you could ask them if they need a dishwasher and if they would be willing to pay under the table.

I will tell you, nobody on the internet will be able to give you a solution that perfectly suits your preferences. The structure of the economy is that unskilled workers have to adapt to fit into the slots that are available to be filled. That means going places you don’t want to go, doing work you don’t want to do, and earning a lot less money than you’d like. Only the kids of the rich start off with jobs they like.

I woke up feeling better. I’m still sick coughing and blowing my nose, but like mentally and physically I no longer feel awful. I slept in later than normal for a Saturday, so I think my body did a good job last night attacking the virus.

I got a sore throat late last night. I had just made 2nd date plans for Sunday on yesterday afternoon. Plus today I have 3 internship interviews and tickets to a show. Really not a great day to feel terrible.

It sounds like you try to control your mom’s behavior a lot. You should focus on the behavior you can control (yours): finding fulfillment in yourself and accepting others the way they are as you want to be accepted.

One of my favorite podcasters gave a talk at our school, and it was awesome. And terrifying, but better to be informed than not.