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Autism paired with a generalized anxiety disorder is one hell of a combo for that.
I hate it. I hate it so much. Just. Stupid meat husk filled with chemical problems!
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Always assume the smallest thing that could be annoyance is because I’m doing everything the worst possible way.
It never stopped hurting.
bruh the hardest thing was to figure out why some people just couldnt stand me in elementary school, turns out you can be too nice, wtf man 😭
Still can’t. Seems to come and go, anyway. Sometimes situationally. It can be crystal clear and the required reciprocal actions come easily. Other days it’s like looking at a book with blank pages.
It did not hurt as much as the years of not being able to read other people’s behavior which lead to ostracization by my peer group and internalizing that I was fundamentally broken and unloveable
