Abstract
Autistic people face a difficult dilemma around whether or not to disclose their diagnosis because autistic people are a stigmatized social group. The central aim of this study was to examine if a social identity approach could be useful in understanding the factors that predict the likelihood of autistic adults disclosing their autism diagnosis in social settings, in the workplace, in educational settings and in the family. The social identity approach predicts that autistic people may cope with this dilemma by using an individualistic strategy to distance themselves from their autistic social identity. Alternatively, they may embrace their autistic social identity and use a collective strategy to resist stigma and advocate for autistic people. We present a survey based cross-sectional study (n = 175) with autistic adults living in Ireland. Participants completed a series of measures; autism social identification, stigma consciousness, and individualistic and collective strategy use to assess disclosing in the four settings. The overall models in each of the four regressions were significant. Autism social identification positively predicted disclosure in social, workplace and educational settings, while stigma consciousness negatively predicted disclosure in the family and in the workplace. Interestingly, over and above these predictors individualistic strategy use negatively predicted disclosure in each of the four settings, while collective strategy use positively predicted disclosure in social, educational and family settings. Our novel social identity approach was useful for explaining autistic adults’ strategies to cope with the complex disclosure dilemma. Strengths, limitations, and directions for future research are discussed.
Be careful when you get there! Predatory abusers have an uncanny radar for people in desperate situations, and autistics are not good on picking up on predatory abusers. Make sure to trust intuition when meeting a stranger and you feel something uncomfortable about them. Also, I think it would be to your best interest to find social services as soon as you can. They might even be able to help you get new ID. Also, social services people are generally not purposefully harmful, so they might be a good support to help you get established.
That sounds like such a horrible experience. I had to run away from my family too. Right now, I’ve been ghosting my sister for months, and it doesn’t look like I have any intention of reconnecting. I hope you can find some peace, and I think that the physical space from your family to help establish a boundary can give you what you need to recover.
Maybe that uncle could be someone you reconnect with. But be careful as well. Just because they ran away too doesn’t mean that they’re going to be a healthy support.
Personally, I count it as a trauma.
I would love to see a study that surveys autistics asking them how often they have heard that they are “too much”
How are you doing now?
Thank you for your warnings… though I am aware of predatory people… and my own tendencies… it is worth being reminded.
As far as replacing my ID goes, I have already found a charity organization that allows their location to be used as a mailing address for the homeless and thankfully I can order a new drivers license online from the state I am from.
I will be looking for food banks soon, but I have enough food to last me through the weekend… I’ve got torn ligaments and extremely sore muscles, I’m pretty sure… I know basic first aid and once took a combat medicine 2 day (6 hours each day) course, so I know that if I can basically just stay in bed, sleep, eat, warm shower and gently stretch, then I will be able to actually walk and carry stuff from the foodbank a mile away after a few days (hopefully less than a week)… actual medical care is too expensive, and I am waaaaay out of my coverage area rofl.
After that I will be attempting to connect with social services… wherever I decide to try to move too. For now, I have SSDI payments and they are enough to afford food and motel rent each month where I am, so I at least have a sort of temporary home base.
I am so very, very glad I do not have to stay at a shelter anymore. Basically everywhere I have been, shelters are night only (just go walk around during the winter with your torn ligaments to stay warm!), and generally filled with drug abusers, guys that got kicked out for domestic violence, … etc. There are of course outliers of people who just got fucked by life for no real good reason… but there are too many violent people to possibly feel safe.
As I think I already mentioned, Ive already been mugged and had to fight people off and sustain fairly serious injuries… many times now.
Homeless shelters, in the multiple statea I have been in, are basically geared toward homeless families, which get priority. Single adult men are more or less lowest priority in terms of where society donates money to helping. Generally I actually think that thats about right as single adult men are more priveleged and face less barriers than families or women, but, thia is of course quite shitty for me at the moment. Oh well.
There is of course a HUGE demand for homeless shelters, far outstripping what services are actually provided, so most organizations aim at a specific demographic.
Attempt to explain this to … actually anyone basically anywhere on the political spectrum, to the right of communists and anarchists… conservatives and fascists just outright want the homeless to die, going by the policies they support and/or the rhetorix they espouse.
I find liberals actually worse though. Theyll act like voting for a minor change that will not meaningfully address the problem makes them morally superior to… you know the position of actually solving the problem. That or they will say thwy support the homeless on the one hand, but ew no not if it means a homeless shelter anywhere near where I can /see/ any of them!
Capitalism has rotted our brains.
I digress.
I am sorry you have had to ghost your sister… its hard to cut a family member out of your life, no matter how awful they are… if you are an innately compassionate person.
I… a month before my life was turned inside out, my brother at one point told me that I actually /had/ to have my phone on, at all times, and respond to his text messages quickly, all the time.
Which is bonkers because he would get irritated when I’d ask him if he had read something I’d sent him days ago. It is also bonkers because uh fucking what? Pretty sure its fine and normal to just want to be left alone to play video games, or go out for a walk without distractions?
But yeah. I am far from them now, and feel a million times better not having to deal with all of their absurd demands, not having to explain what has taken me a decades to learn in the tech industry in 5 minutes because they are both busy, but also /very concerned/ about why I am angry with someone at work pursuing a non workable API proposal for the database I was maintaining, or somethi g like that. /Sounds like a minor detail to me yuck yuck yuck!/ No, no its asking me to double my workload for a project that /will fail/ and then/will be blamed on me/… sigh
Lets see uh, well the uncle that fucked off would probably actually help me out. Problem is I have no way to contact him after my phone was stolen. He doesnt /do/ social media, and well neither do I.
Anyway… hah yeah after getting all this off my chest, I am doing better.
I am probably going to survive, and my fractured fingers have thankfully healed in such a way I will be able to keeo typing, keep doing tech oriented work. I have a warm bed, a door with a lock, no insane people trying to assault me, and no insane people gaslighting me and wasting all my time.
All I gotta do is recuperate for a weekish, and then incrementally come up with a longer term plan.
And hah, yes, it kind of enrages me sometimes that wider society just… just actually hates Autistic people being what is normal to them. We are treated as undesirables, socially ostricized, and constantly criticized by people who paradoxically love exploiting the abilities we have, taking those for granted (imagine if housewives were paid for housework? imagine if i was paid for the thousands of hours ive spent setting up computer systems for tech illiterate friends and family!)
Blargh.
So yeah I am going to need a therapist once I settle somewhere, haha!
When I have been in threatening environments, like walking through dangerous neighborhoods, I have found that presenting as if I am quite angry, a bit unhinged, or on stimulating drugs, seems to keep people from messing with me. If I go for a calmer but still problematic presentation, then what I do is look like I’m calmly analyzing people as if I want to take advantage of them. If someone walks in my direction, then I start to walk in there’s. If we interact, I have to completely ignore their statements and only focus on mine, especially asking them intrusive questions. For example, if they ask me, “How are you?” I would respond with, “How old are you?” “Do you have any friends here?” or “What did you eat today?” This also has worked, but can be more confronting and you have to make sure you don’t mess with the wrong person. However, being quiet, calm, inward, and basically showing that I want nothing to do with people attracts violence. It’s like if I were saying, “Please don’t mess with me,” which tells them I’m a good target.
Have you seen The Florida Project? It’s about that very scene you describe. I thought is was a fascinating movie. You might find it validating to watch it. However, I can’t remember if there were any extremely troubling parts to the movie, so be aware that there might be.
Regarding homeless shelters, the whole system is jacked. They are pretty dangerous on top of that, especially the ones for single men. I get not wanting to stay there, and you are not the only one that feels that way.
Thank you! It’s hard seeing her phone calls and ignoring them, but I remind myself that it’s for my best interest and mental safety. She’s just too exhausting and hurtful to speak with. I didn’t control her behaviors to create the relationship we have, so I am not responsible for her emotions related to that. Additionally, I tried my best, and it didn’t work out. So, there’s no reason to continue maintaining a relationship that ends up with me being hurt.
There are online services that you can use to get his number. Some of them will charge, which means you will need a credit card. They may have a free weekly trial, so you can take advantage of that. I have successfully used beenverified in the past, but beware that cancelling is a pain in the butt. Still, $25 for amonth subscription might be a good investment if the result is more support from your uncle, depending on how he is doing. There may also be other companies that might be a better option. Maybe if you can find someone that a subscription to a service like that, they can help you out by looking for him. I do not have a subscription to any services like that though.
🥳
I think so to. Based on what you have shared, you seem determined and strong.
I agree!
Sounds like it, lol. You have a lot to process regarding your family and the shitty situation you are in. It sounds terrible. I think that it’s understandable and justifiable that you are very angry over it. I don’t mean to be controlling, ordering, or governing, but I have been in really bad situations like yours, so know that I am mostly talking to me from the past when I say the following. Please don’t do anything rash in the moment. Once you get settled down, you will have the opportunity to find an avenue to process all that. Focus on safety and getting stable. The time for addressing grievances will come. Later on, you might even be proud that you were able to endure and overcome what you are going through now.
Glad to hear you have a good head on your shoulders. When in times like yours (I have never been technically homeless), I like to repeat the following mantra I picked up in the military to myself: Keep your chin up and your head down. What it means is that stay confident and proud of yourself, act with decisiveness, but don’t place yourself in dangerous situations when you don’t have to.
I read your whole comment, and while I am too tired to reply to it point by point…
Thank you.
Even if its just text on a screen… it is very helpful and reassuring.
I have never been in the military, but I have always been fascinated by the strategy and tech, and I was actually quite the avid beta tester and gameplay idea thrower-outer for Project Reality, the BF2 mod which has since evolved into Squad…
… So I know what you mean when you say chin up, and shoulders down.
Carry myself with a bit of pride and dignity, as I have survived this all so far… and I actually, unfortunately know that many of the people I met along the way, on the streets… I know many of them are already dead. Morbid as that is… I am still here. My sanity and my body are mostly intact, and as you say, dont do anything rash now that I am at least for now in a relatively safe place, perfect time to rest, recover, and come up with a longer term plan. Body and mind will heal in time, and I’ve got at least the outline if a plan for my future, and enough of a brain to fill in the details in due time.
Thank you again for being understanding and supportive.
PS
Though this is now ancient by youtube and quality standards…
In this video and its sequel on the same channel, I am the subject of the camera and the test pilot. DBZao the main Project Reality coder had come up with an entirely new helicopter flight model for PR 0.5. Myself and the camerman/narrorator happened to both be in Teamspeak when he uploaded the new test build and told us to make a promo video for it.
My shit tier DSL connection and piece of shit eMachine could barely run the game and teamspeak together at 30 fps, so I couldnt fraps record at the same time haha.
So I guess I am actually sort of one of the oldest machinima actors, technically. The channel owner here recorded himself talking via teamspeak and fraps, and I just ad libbed motions to the player model in real time, no script, no dry runs, we did it live lol.
https://vid.puffyan.us/watch?v=-XuV0a9xZoo
https://vid.puffyan.us/watch?v=pdMGMzLpzLI
If you watch through to the end of part two, youll see us driving a VBIED truck into a glitchy fence and rocketing into the air. And you will hear me laugh.
And I can still laugh just like that, 16 years later. Maybe a bit lower octave… but I can still laugh, even after all this.
Thank you again, truly.
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You’re welcome 🙂