Let me preface this by saying, I am extremely fortunate to be working a fully remote job where I am able to manage my environment and generally be as I am without too much trouble from that.
It’s, of course subject to changes and the whims of my ‘leaders’ but its pretty great for now, and has been for five years.
I have been to the office exactly twice. Once to pick up my equipment, and once for a two-day all staff social that took me a week to recover from.
My new boss wants to have quarterly in-office strategic cheerleading sessions. I cannot imagine many scenarios where I will feel my disability more, and do not want to go. Not just because of the discomfort, but because I understand the setback that will come from my team seeing me spaced out and weird. Because I know I will not be able to participate the way my new boss desires, and I need to figure out how to regain the standing that I am sure to lose from this ‘day of connecting with others’
Yeahhh I can’t think of much worse than those kinds of team building days or whatever they are.
Is it a big group?
Does your new boss know of your disability? I’d be honest about your recovery time after social events and maybe (if it’s in your capacity) agree to one a year, not quarterly!
I just don’t get those kinds of things, if it’s not vital information and people are performing their jobs without attending these things, they really shouldn’t be mandatory. If some people get something from it then by all means, run them, just don’t make them compulsory and penalize people who a) don’t get anything from it whether disabled or not and b) obviously where it actually has a negative affect, recovery time and so on due to disability.
You’ve been in the job for 5 years so you’re obviously good at your job and I really hope your new boss can see that that’s what matters!