Watching it at 1.5 speed helped immensely.

Sure they do, NTs do a lot of stim activities, the difference is that they don’t need to stim in order to remain calm and centred, they can just do it because it’s fun.

I had lessons from various people every summer for the first few years after I turned 17 (age you can start learning on public roads in the UK). I’d get to “test standard” each time on the mechanics of it, but navigating other drivers was too much so I never actually took a test, and never intend to.

I’m now in my 30s and have structured my life around not having a car. My house is on a 24-hour bus route into town where I work, and walking distance to most amenities. My husband does have a car, so he can drive us places that aren’t on public transit routes (such as our parents’ houses) but the vast majority of the time I’m doing my own thing while he’s at his job an hour’s drive away.

I don’t even seem to have a special interest. It’s like I’m doing autism wrong.

This is why I concluded that I can’t live in shared housing. Thankfully my social phobia isn’t triggered by living with a partner or I’d be fucked as far as affording housing.

I don’t have any useful advice or way to help, but you’re not a burden and you’re not the only one to feel this way. Sorry if that’s not exactly comforting.

My instinctive response is that it’s a terrible idea. While having no expectation to mask is great, it seems to me that gathering a group of people who generally struggle to take care of themselves and their environment and who have very low tolerance for certain environmental stimuli and a deep need for other environmental stimuli is a recipe for chaos.

I attend a local autistic adults zoom group every other week, and it’s great for support and understanding, but if I had to be in the same room as one of the other members their stims would give me a meltdown. I over-empathise emotionally, an autistic friend has almost no emotional empathy, as a result some of our interactions do not go as intended. Multiply these kinds of issues with having to effectively live with eachother and I just don’t see it going well.

I’m so glad you’re feeling validated, it’s so miserable to be adrift in thoughts of “what’s wrong with me”!

Stimming is one of those things that everyone does to an extent, since it’s basically just “doing things that feel nice”. The difference for neurodivergent folks is that it helps us emotionally regulate in a way that neurotypical folks don’t need, so we tend to do it a lot more often (or feel extra stressed/anxious/irritable).

This is what smartphones are for. Take picture of clothing item. Take picture of clothing item tag. Save pictures in a “clothes” folder that is synced and/or backed up elsewhere and reference them as needed.

I don’t know. “Functional rebalancing” would be more accurate, but kind of clunky. I can’t think of anything more pithy.

“Skill regression” is such an awful term. It would be like taking a severe workaholic who is getting stress ulcers, having them develop a proper work-life balance, and calling that “productivity regression”.

Honestly I’d be very surprised to see an online autism community with a majority of people professionally diagnosed, even more surprised if the majority were diagnosed as children. Even setting aside how underdiagnosed large sections of the autistic population are, the people who need to seek support and validation that they belong to a community are much more likely to be those who didn’t have the right language or support as a child.

This has turned out to be a huge wall of text, sorry.

Most autistic communities recognise that an official diagnosis is hard to get and not always helpful/necessary, so while it’s wise not to say as much out in the rest of the world, it’s completely valid to self-identify within an autistic space.

Feeling like you’re faking the whole thing is so normal. I didn’t have a self-identification journey before being diagnosed as an adult, and for the first two years after that diagnosis still felt like I wasn’t actually autistic and the assessors made a mistake, or not autistic enough to “count” and give myself accommodation. It comes from a lifetime of learning that your experiences are “wrong”, that you “can’t trust” your own interpretations of the world around you, that you could do anything a neurotypical person can do if you just try. We late-identified are raised to doubt ourselves. It’s often no one’s fault, but it still takes a lot of unlearning.

What you do now is start regularly checking in with your senses. Are you feeling tense because you’ve been ignoring a too-bright light or an irritating noise or an uncomfortable piece of clothing? Removing those kinds of subconscious distractions is a huge relief, whether that’s with headphones, earplugs, sunglasses, baseball hats, whatever works. Are you hungry/thirsty/sitting in a really uncomfortable way and haven’t realised it? Solve those needs.

Then look into stimming. Physical or mental actions that you feel an urge to do and find calming. They don’t have to be “weird” or socially unacceptable - spinning a pen, fiddling with a paperclip, chewing gum, twisting bracelets/wristbands/rings, squeezing a stress ball, wearing clothing that puts pressure in certain places (e.g. I wear dresses with a waist belt for pressure on my abdomen) are all possible stims. Even if it sounds completely unnecessary, try a bunch of thing and see what makes you feel safe and calm.

Chances are that if you’re autistic you’ll have a lot more mental energy after discovering your sensory sensitivities and stims, because it’s not all going into trying to ignore all the discomforts.

The social side is less straightforward, and to be honest I’ve not figured it out yet. People say masking is damaging and should be avoided at all costs, but those costs can be significant. I’ve tried to go the route of not masking stims (having found subtle ones that work) and unapologetically wearing sunglasses indoors, but still put on the mask when it comes to communication, tone of voice, facial expressions and the like. Because my aim is to be understood, not to take a stand for all autism-kind, and the relief of meeting my sensory needs frees up a lot of the mental energy for it. Maybe that’s the wrong approach, but it’s the one that poses the least risk to my comfort.

I’m going to ignore all of your advice because you prioritise a dangerous fad over avoiding a genuine risk to your child’s health, and I’m not interested in doing the research to find out whether the rest are similarly problematic.

I’m afraid you lost me at “raw milk” - I’ve only ever seen that endorsed by people with very unscientific beliefs as it’s not considered safe for human consumption.

The only neurotypical person I know well is my sister. The only major differences we’ve actually established is that she has significantly more energy for activity-filled days than I do, and she doesn’t understand the concept of being paralyzed by indecision.

Jumping spiders have two large eyes, proportionately chunky bodies, and short, thick legs, making them the spiders that most resemble mammals. We’re pretty keen on mammals as a species, so it would make sense that a spider with mammal-like traits is less scary/creepy/“other” to us.

Finding a soft lock of my hair and twirling it around my fingers. Both for the softness and the gentle tugging at my scalp. And as a bonus it’s fairly socially acceptable.

Good tip. I’d personally feel too vulnerable with that much sound blocking, so loops are perfect for taking the edge off while still being aware of cars coming around corners or other people out of my eyeline.

I use earplugs, sunglasses, and hoodies. I may look ridiculous with hood up and sunglasses on a cloudy day, but it feels like a bubble of safety.

That is a concern, but it’s still true that you operating at your best will look very different to someone whose autism comes with intellectual delays/impairments and mobility impairments. And the diagnosis is still graded in “levels”, all that has changed is now you have to explain “level one is what they used to call aspergers”.