I have to make about 5 - 7 phone calls for important shit in my life. I am actively suffering for not having made these calls. It’s getting worse.

All I can do is hope that I will wake up one day and I’ll feel okay enough to make one of the phone calls. It happens every once in a while, I swear.

Just have to wait…

They’re the freaking worst and I wish I could hire an assistant to make calls for me.

I would welcome getting to turn down the volume of my sensory issues. It causes more distress than acceptance can fix.

Technically I believe they call it a medical drama but it’s quite “soapy” one could say based on the repetition and quality of plot lines. I think you’re thinking of telenovelas for Spanish speaking countries. Soap operas are basically the same thing as telenovelas with some regional cultural variation.

This is partially correct. An actress with ASD joins in the last season.

They also have had ASD consultants (medical people, not people with ASD themselves) for their entire run and emphasize that ASD people are unique. They repeatedly reiterate that the main character is not representative of all people with ASD but they do have quite a few cringe-inducing scenes throughout most of the run.

It’s a soap opera, man. It’s not a great representation of anyone but I give them points for trying.

It’s an American remake of a K Drama featuring a medium to high needs savant person with ASD becoming a surgeon. The scene depicted above is a narrative mechanism the show uses as a way for the audience to see his thought process in a visually interesting way.

The show has plenty to dunk on but there’s nothing wrong with not having an actor stare into space for 20 seconds of dead air while the character thinks of a creative solution.

Edit: I should note a similar mechanism was used all the time in other medical shows like House

Oh no, they were full on messes who had no idea why. But I know. Too late, but I know.

And my parents’. And some of my grandparents’.

And it grows back at first so you have to keep doing it until it scars over and you lose your sense of identity. But the scar healed wrong and everyone can tell you still don’t fit.

Yeah, here’s the thing about dating another neurodivergent person: their needs may be exactly what your boundaries are. For example, someone who is completely touch averse pairing with someone who is touch seeking and rejection sensitive. And since they’re not trying to be malicious but both of you are more or less intractable because you can only change or compromise on your needs through heavy and painful masking, it can be disastrous.

Also, neurodivergent people can be more ableist than allistic due to how they’ve internalized criticism and taught themselves to mask.

Now this is all situational and a neurotypical person can be the same way, which is why I say it really doesn’t matter if you date a neurodivergent person or a neurotypical person. It’s about finding a partner that can empathize and respects you.

Right this moment?

My main regular doctor, who I slowly built a rapport and trust with over years and years, was intentionally infected with Delta by a patient who didn’t believe in masks or vaccines. She survived but became disabled and left. I didn’t get to say goodbye and she didn’t get a chance to help hand off my care.

My new doctor that was assigned me to hates me.

She’s straight up is completely uninterested in my care and is being an ableist gatekeeper of my meds. I’ve been on the same meds successfully for years and years and she is making me jump through hoops, not filling part of it, and she WITHOUT TALKING TO ME ordered a urine drug test.

I’m a rule follower and people pleaser and this was so fucking insulting. I haven’t done it and she still hasn’t said said anything. I’m going to ignore it until she talks to me but I’m also not confrontational.

I have so many health problems I can’t even talk about with my doctor because she doesn’t want to hear them. All she cares about is my meds and whether or not I’m a liability to her.

It’s my worst nightmare because I had addict parents and have never done drugs and really don’t drink. I’m very sensitive about being treated like I’m like them. She treats me poorly because she doesn’t know me and doesn’t trust me. I also suspect she’s burned out.

The worst part is she’s my roommate’s doctor too and she’s all smiles and nice, caring, and empathetic with my roommate (so they say).

I don’t know what I did to make her hate me because she was hostile from the jump when I tried to introduce myself and my conditions.

I just had an appointment and I’m really upset and feel hopeless. I can’t switch doctors or they will label me as doctor shopping and drug seeking.

Don’t need advice, I’m not going to stand up for myself. I’m just answering the prompt.

This is a nightmare. I’m sorry.

In 2019 my friend started sending me compilations of ADHD and ASD videos and memes. They had clocked me long before I understood myself, probably due to my severe sensory issues that make life hell for me and anyone living with me. I thought they were funny and really resonated but it was a very very slow realization. I was in a lot of denial but the more other people talked about their struggles (through comedy, my main coping mechanism) the more I identified with them.

I’ve been formally diagnosed with ADHD. I have taken all of the tests for ASD and score highly but I am not pursuing an official diagnosis. The ADHD can be used for any accommodation I request and generally isn’t used against people the way an ASD diagnosis would be.

It’s been about a 4 year journey of self reflection and exposure to what ADHD/ASD really are (vs. the dated stereotypes of “squirrel” or nonverbal or Rain Man) to understand there’s an explanation for my many, many traits.

Tl;Dr funny tiktoks made me question my identity and I unraveled

Childfree =/= antinatalist

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Yep yep yep, I do this with songs and albums and bands that I love. After the initial period of listening to it non-stop on an endless loop as much as possible for an unknown amount of time (weeks to months) I have to stop altogether for a while.

Every once in a while I need to listen to [album with favorite song on it] and then I have to do that for like a week or two straight and then not touch it for a long time. The breaks get longer the more I’ve listened and absorbed it because, again, I’m trying not to get sick of it.

Isn’t this everyone though?

Today is a Connect day and within the past week they’ve changed it up enough that I’m really enjoying it. Mostly hiding posts, hiding read posts, and marking scrolled past posts as read (so hide on refresh). It’s not perfect but it’s better than it was a few days ago before the most recent update.

Not really. I’m cycling through 4 because they’re all having problems. When one crashes, or stops being able to load content, or can’t log into my instance, I switch to the next. Jerboa gets the most use because it is the most stable so far but has some counterintuitive ui things I wish were better.

I made an appointment with the only psychologist in a hundred miles that didn’t have a 2 year wait list in March 2020.

I went there specifically because I was pretty sure I had ADHD and suspected ASD.

She asked me why I was there and I started out, “Well, I suspect I might have ADHD. Beca-”

She interrupted me to say that she knew (I saw her once before years ago, long story) I had a college degree. And therefore I couldn’t possibly have ADHD because someone with anything “like that” couldn’t possibly have it.

She wouldn’t let me get through any of my reasons or listen to me at all. Not the least of which is it took me 10 years to get a 4 year degree.

I left that appointment, went to my GP and said, “I think I have ADHD and here’s why.”

She said “Yep, sounds like it. Here’s Adderall tell me if it helps.” (Helps a lot…not completely because also ASD but didn’t know at the time)

When I went back the next month for a follow up with my GP she said that the psychologist made a note in my file and that I’m banned from having this medication.

I’ve never had any substance abuse issues ever. My parents did when they were alive, but I haven’t.

I am close to my GP in as much as you can be while maintaining boundaries. We trust each other. She said the psych notes don’t match what she knows of me but she was unable to override them. She just…encouraged me to get a second opinion.

Luckily the rise of pandemic telemedicine meant I got an ADHD diagnosis and was properly medicated before the medication shortage.

But I continue to be fucked in the medical system by that one quack psychologist and I don’t even know how to move forward pursuing an ASD diagnosis.

She sucked.

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