Hi all.
Before getting in to this, I know this may be a really bizarre thing to be worked up about. In fact, maybe I’ll go ahead and say it definitely is. But I still can’t help but feeling a bit anxious and worried.
I do not know how much this has to do with my autism or if i’m just a chronic worrier.
I was banned from reddit last week and I’ve been really uneasy since. Since I was getting really fed up with Reddit anyway, I’m not devastated from that alone. I’m a bit bummed out, admittedly, but its probably because I’ve been on reddit most every day for years on end, so to suddenly lose access is quite jarring.
Supposedly I broke rule 3. It says you cannot share sexualized images of people without their consent. I would go to a NSFW reddit sometimes to share images of adult actresses. They were always some of the more popular people in the industry, and I always thought I was posting freely available things. As far as permissible NSFW content on Reddit, this would have been the most permissible sort.
But I believe one of the images I shared ended up being from OF. I just thought it was fine since it appeared to be available with a simple google search of the person’s name. And I’m not entirely sure if this is what happened, but it’s my best guess. Unless someone just had it out for me, but I doubt it. I did indeed discover that this person mostly does social media stuff, and not commercial material. She’s a very popular person too, so I was careless and assumed any material I found was fine. If this is in fact the case, I won’t try to argue against it. I messed up.
But I can’t let this go for some reason. I still have the message I got burned into my mind like I’ve done something highly egregious. Not to mention I did appeal, and it was denied. That first night I couldn’t sleep hardly. The second, I slept worse. I’ sleep way better now and can get through most of the day without thinking about it. But it still pops in to my mind here and there.
I keep scanning every moment of the past few weeks when I was posting stuff for any memory of something I should be punished for to justify me feeling this way. I know for a fact that none of what I shared was illegal in and of itself. I think it was just the one post possibly being material behind a paywall.
Sorry for the long post. Has anyone dealt with this? Like, guilty feelings that you can’t escape? Is what I did really, really bad? Like I said at the very beginning, I know this is a bizarre thing to get worked up about, but it’s bugging me all the same. How guilty should I be feeling over this?
It gets better. In the first few months, I also supplemented with discuit. The people on discuit are really nice. You didn’t do anything that other people do. They’re just really aggressive with banning now, for no real reason. It’s a shitty site.
I cut reddit out entirely for the first few months, because not being able to participate deeply bothered me. I replaced it to the best of my degree with other sites, and I slowly added it back -just- for the things that are nowhere else. I spend nowhere near as much time on it. It’s a bad site with shitty owners.
Thanks for the suggestion.
Is discuit active?
It’s less active than lemmy but people are there every day. I know when I was first transitioning, I was used to a much higher level of engagement than any other site is going to provide, so I was really just looking for any interpersonal connection.
I may check it out.
I’m confused. Do you feel guilty because you understand that you did something ‘wrong’, or is it more of a reaction to being punished from the ban?.
Here’s how I see it. If someone puts porn of themselves on the internet, then they have probably accepted that some of it will make its way around without their say-so. If they don’t expect that, well then thats a lesson for them to learn.
As far as Reddit goes, you should not care how Reddit (or its mods) judge you. I wonder if you are hypersensitive to some element of this story. Maybe the rejection, maybe being punished, maybe the idea of your wrongfulness.
IDK, idk you, I’m just hypothesizing, but you can make a decision about how much this actually matters. Try to do that and then just move forward, you will be fine again very quickly.
I think it was just the message I got from being banned.
Supposedly a human being saw what I did and thought it was tantamount to taking a creep shot in public and posting it on Reddit. When I appealed again, another human supposedly doubled down on the decision.
I did not share this part, but elsewhere on Reddit I posted asking for advice about it. And the reaction was basically “Well who cares how popular someone is, it’s still without their permission 🤷”.
Which that made sense to me but it also didn’t … All the images were allowable on reddit except that one (and again, that’s assuming I’m correct about it being that one, they never told me).
So I think it’s Reddit’s Admins and as well as other individuals there on r/modsupport all claiming I had no place on Reddit ever again. It made me feel really gross and second guessing everything I did.
Edit: one tiny extra detail. My brother in law uses Reddit on his phone when he comes over with my sister. I’m worried that a ban for ban evasion will kick in while he’s using it here. I have no idea if he uses the wifi or not.
Change the wifi password and then ‘forget’ it if you’re that worried about that last bit. It’s just catastrophic anxiety though, just pointless worry and you can label it as such and disregard it.
You never need to escape your feelings, you need to process them
Wdym?
They’re banning everyone for whatever reason they can find because users are problematic, while bots give you engagement without problematic people.
Hi friend,
You essentially pirated booba it is objectively stealing and could get dmca’d Reddit is responsible for moderating user generated content in that context
Not creepshot pervert level behaviour, sleep well brother for there are many worse than you.
