Chilling on the deck with my pooch, studying languages and shorthand, drinking some yerba mate.

Stressed about work. Currently not working. Have a second interview with a store manager when he gets back on vacation–maybe next week–and I’m stressing about flaming out at my last job. Like, seriously, I hope it doesn’t sink me for the rest of my life. I’ve enjoyed most of the work I’ve done in the past 7 years, but I decided to take some risks, and they didn’t work out. If I feel like if I’ve ever had any issues at work, it’s “red flag” to employers, and it doesn’t matter what the reason is. I think the usual dodgy bullshit answer is, “It wasn’t a good fit.” But I really want to launch into a whole thing about how the position was structurally unsound, my boss was emotionally a coward, the entire organization was built around backscratching, and so much more. But, it just wasn’t a good fit, I guess.

Is a work history just supposed to be a conveyor belt smoothly travelling upward, ever upward?

Edit: Also my folks is visiting me and things are pretty mellow. My dad says he wants to watch Lord of the Rings again which, hell, yeah, I’m there for that. I’m thinking extended for Fellowship and Return but theatrical for Two Towers. That’s like the best thing to get my mind off this shit. I bring hope to men and keep none for myself.

Also, I’m looking for my soul. I don’t know how to explain it, but I think I lost it somewhere.