‘Better than a real man’: young Chinese women turn to AI boyfriends::Twenty-five-year-old Chinese office worker Tufei says her boyfriend has everything she could ask for in a romantic partner: he’s kind, empathetic, and sometimes they talk for hours.

  • TherouxSonfeir@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    If all you want is attention and you’re not willing to reciprocate, then yeah, maybe computer is your best hope.

    • maynarkh@feddit.nl
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      9 months ago

      Maybe it’s more like not able rather than not willing. As someone in a happy relationship that can’t imagine my life without it, relationships are hard, and modern life is hard.

      I mean, may they be happy. If they are not ready or able to commit to a relationship, but they need comfort in our increasingly lonely world, this may be a band-aid. A good solution would be to find out why people are lonely in the first place, and address it.

      • TherouxSonfeir@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        Is it loneliness or is it selfishness? They could get conversation online. This is a specific kind of “all about you” experience.

        I’m not really arguing against it. If a person is happier having those emotions generated by a computer, good for them.

        It’s kind of like porn, or a romance novel. Sometimes fiction is better than reality.

        • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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          9 months ago

          This was literally a joke in 30 Rock: Pay per view “porn for women” where it was literally just a hot guy saying into the camera “Tell me how your day was”, “I think you were right”, and “Well it’s his loss”

        • maynarkh@feddit.nl
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          9 months ago

          Sometimes a relationship has to be all about one of you, it is two people leaning on each other. The thing is, I can see how it might be hard to find someone to lean on if you are not stable enough yourself for someone else to do the same.

          If anything, I’d say this is the opposite of selfish. Rather than going into a relationship just to satisfy your needs without being able to satisfy the other’s, you get to take care of yourself a little.

          I’m not a psychologist though, and I don’t know how this affects someone long term.

    • TheGrandNagus@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      You’re 100% correct lol. Men who do this are roundly mocked and called sad creepy incels.

      That said, the culture and dating scene for women in China is pretty awful. My ex was Chinese and had some awful dating stories, now she avoids dating Chinese men. Easy for her to do as she left china, but not everybody can/wants to.

      We need to learn to be a little less mean to anybody who uses these apps. They’re likely doing it because they see little alternative, yet still want affection. Calling them losers, be they male or female, achieves nothing other than hurting them.

    • DudeDudenson@lemmings.world
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      9 months ago

      Men do this and a company straight up profited from it until they tried to go back to be sponsor friendly and gimped their AI personas service

    • InfiniWheel@lemmy.one
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      9 months ago

      Aren’t we already with this? I never see anyone going “You go queen!” over someone’s virtual bf

  • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    If an AI friend is “better” than a normal friend, it looks like something in the social environment is seriously broken.

    • dukk@programming.dev
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      9 months ago

      I mean, it will be. The AI friend is always available, always knows what to say, never fights with you, and never messes up (ideally).

      However, all those things are part of the human element: and at the end, you’re still talking to a computer. The AIs are just trying to please you. A person can actually love you, and that’s something else. And I’d take that over the perfect chatbot any day.

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        The AI friend is always available, always knows what to say, never fights with you, and never messes up (ideally).

        And isn’t that what people really want in a relationship? A perfect, frictionless yes-person trained to parrot whatever you wanted to hear six weeks ago.

        The AIs are just trying to please you.

        Its a bit worse than that. Monetized social media is designed to provoke engagement. So the AI isn’t trying to please you, its trying to maximize your utilization. That means establishing a clingy, desperate, attention seeking (ie, toxic) relationship that keeps you looking at your phone for as long as possible.

        Its pleasurable in the same way a heroin addiction is pleasurable.

    • bruhduh@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      people love to abuse each other, and those who wish to live peaceful life become more distanced from social environment, my grandma said back in the day that “in her times there were no abuse and crime” i was like, yeah right, there wasn’t internet back then where people could refugee to, so everyone has only one choice, and that’s to be silent and endure

  • shortwavesurfer@monero.town
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    9 months ago

    From what I understand there is a shortage of women in China compared to men due to the one child policy and most parents wanting sons so that makes a bad problem even worse.

  • Nima@leminal.space
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    9 months ago

    if she’s happy, I don’t see the issue. She’s not hurting anybody and seems to have a good grasp of the situation. She’s aware it’s not real, and still participates.

      • rottingleaf@lemmy.zip
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        9 months ago

        These are actually two parts of the same positive feedback loop.

        Young men satisfy (in emotional sense) themselves with chatbots, lose ability to communicate with young women, thus young women see fewer young men they can communicate with, turn to chatbots, thus young men see fewer young women able to communicate and so on.

        I would even say that this in some sense started with young women, not because I’m an incel or something, just drowning themselves in all kinds of romantic fan fiction etc is something girls apparently do more. And even romantic chatbots are not necessarily more accessible\understandable for young men, - despite all the social legacy girls can be quite tech-savvy when they want to find, say, some anime series. My sister unironically could understand some Chinese text because it was easier to find something on some Chinese sites (I’m not mixing up China and Japan here and the series were Japanese), she’d also have plenty of scary Chinese-style Chinese-language software installed under her user.

        Why did I type this last paragraph, I wonder.

    • Virulent@reddthat.com
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      9 months ago

      The issue is that society is so atomizing and broken people are turning to chatbots for affection

      • Nima@leminal.space
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        9 months ago

        it varies from person to person. she seems to be aware it’s not real. she’s not lying to herself. she’s just enjoying it.

    • rottingleaf@lemmy.zip
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      9 months ago

      I hope you don’t think it’s sarcasm, because it’s true for many lonely people. They need a therapist first. Yep, one they can feel something romantic for, that seemingly happens very often, just have to know some boundaries which don’t exist in an equal two-sided normal relationship.

    • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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      9 months ago

      What’s interesting is that the first chatbot software ever invented was used as a form of therapy. All it did was detect key words in the previous sentence and say “tell me more about how X makes you feel”

      More info (great podcast)

  • 1984@lemmy.today
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    9 months ago

    Talk for hours with an Ai? No thanks, sounds like torture… Unless you count problem solving with code discussions…

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Better than being “leftover”. Now they are virtually married.

    It’s not too bad if the guy can actually make money driving Uber or something.

  • JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    That’s just a friend, then. I would think a boyfriend would be a friend you could be physically affectionate to, which obviously you can’t with a chatbot. I’m not against people having virtual friends, I just don’t see why it’s a boyfriend.

    • activ8r@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      Depends on their style of emotional investment I guess. Not all romantic relationships are sexual, so physical intimacy isn’t necessarily required. So it reasonably could be the same emotional attachment to the AI as it would be for a real person. Whether or not that is healthy is an entirely different topic, but having a virtual boyfriend is very possible.

      • Encrypt-Keeper@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I’m not an asexual so my opinion here might have little value but I would imagine asexuals might still enjoy physical intimacy that is non-sexual in nature. Do they not need things like holding hands, hugging, kissing, sitting close to one another either? Even non-touch love language types like acts of service would be impossible for an ai.

    • iquanyin@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      same. it’s just clickbait adjacent wording to catch eyeballs for fun and profit.